There’s no manual for parenting. No cheat codes. No magical parenting guide. But weirdly enough... that’s part of what makes it beautiful.
I’ve been through it. The diaper disasters, the sleepless nights, the wine-fueled. And along the way, I’ve gathered a few messy, hilarious, real lessons. So if you’re here right now I want you to know these little tips I’m about to share.
First off congratulations! You’re officially part of the club.
Those first few days or weeks? It might feel like someone just handed you a kid and said, “Here you go, good luck.” Most of us feel lost in the beginning. You’re not alone.
And here’s something important to remember: no one’s coming to take the baby back.
Being a parent means functioning on less rest than usual. Falling asleep while standing up? Totally normal now. Nodding off mid-conversation with your partner? Also normal.
Let’s not sugarcoat it those early days are rough. Every dad has been there, staring at their reflection thinking, “Am I doing this right?” The answer is probably “kind of,” and that’s enough.
Here’s the silver lining for all you sleep-deprived dads: babies won’t remember most of what happens in their first few years. Seriously! Their brains haven’t figured out how to hold onto memories yet.
So if you accidentally dress them in mismatched socks. They’ll never know.
This also gives you time to figure things out without stressing about messing up too badly. Handing them a toy upside down, putting their shirt on backward, or forgetting which side of the bottle is supposed to go in their mouth.
It’s okay. You’re learning. By the time they’re old enough to critique your parenting skills.
Baby poop isn’t that bad. In fact, when they’re newborns, it’s almost adorable. Sure, you’re changing what feels like 800 diapers a day.
But enjoy it while it lasts, because fast forward to toddlerhood, and you’ll be dealing with full-on crime scenes during diaper changes.
Suddenly, your sweet little angel is producing poops so massive they could moonlight as modern art sculptures.
Let’s talk about how freaking delicious babies are not in the “I’m making a stew” sense, obviously, but in the “sniff their heads and never stop hugging them” kind of way.
There’s something about that fuzzy-baby-head smell that makes you want to bottle it up and sell it as cologne.
Or maybe just keep it for yourself because who wouldn’t want to smell like pure joy?
Turns out, this isn’t just us losing our minds it’s science. Your body releases pheromones to help you bond with your baby.
If you thought parenting would be easier once they started walking and talking. Yeah, you are wrong. Toddlers make training a dog look like a child’s play.
You can repeat things like “Don’t put sand in your mouth” or “Stop climbing the bookshelf like Spider-Man” until you’re blue in the face, but somehow the only thing they remember is the one time you said “poopy butt” under your breath.
Oh, and don’t get me started on songs from kids’ movies. They’ll forget everything except every single lyric to Frozen.
Babies are basically tiny magicians. One day they’re rolling over, then sitting up, then crawling and before you know it, they’re scaling furniture.
It’s hard not to wonder if they’re secretly geniuses plotting world domination.
Because no genius would choose to wear daddy’s underwear as a hat instead of playing with the fancy wooden toys you spent hours researching.
And if they were truly smart, they’d call us out every time we lie to them. Like when we say, “Oh no, my coffee is too spicy for you,” or “That pigeon isn’t dead, it’s just resting.
Being a dad, especially as part of the LGBTQ+ family is one heck of an adventure. When my partner and I first brought our little bundle of chaos home, I had no idea what I was doing.
We’re all just winging it, hoping we don’t mess up too badly while secretly Googling “am I a good parent?” at 3 a.m.
Parenting isn’t about perfection. It’s about showing up, even when you’re tired and cranky. It’s about finding humour in the hard stuff.
One piece of advice, don’t try to do it all alone. Leaning on your partner, calling your bestie for a vent session, or joining a group of other gay dads online, find your people.
Parenting can feel isolating sometimes, but it doesn’t have to be. There’s so much power in knowing you’re not alone.
Oh, and don’t forget to take care of yourself. You can’t pour from an empty cup, your kids need you at your best. So take that nap or order takeout instead of cooking dinner.
If you ever need more tips, laughs, or solidarity, come hang out with me over at austinplease.com. We’re building a space for real talk, real advice, and real community and you’re always welcome.
Parenting is messy, unpredictable, and absolutely worth it. So keep going, keep laughing, and remember you’ve got this. Even if it doesn’t always feel like it.
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