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#004: FAMILY STRUCTURE
Which one of you is the “mom”?
As a family we’ve been asked this question quite a lot.
It usually isn’t worded so bluntly and often takes on a much more open-minded tone: “Who takes on the nurturing role?”. Regardless of the pleasantries, it’s asking how we fit into a traditional family structure.
Neither… Our family doesn’t have a “mom”, it has two dads.
…and we don’t need to fit ourselves into a traditional family structure.
The is a tough question to approach because the motivation behind it can be drastically different.
Some people ask out of curiosity; while others may be asking out of concern. Concern that our daughter won’t grow up with a motherly role model.
Regardless of the motivation, this assumption is hurtful because it implies that our family can’t be happy and healthy without exactly one father and one mother.
Well BS to that.
Children without traditional family structures aren’t missing out. The bottom line here is that children need love, nurturing and feeding. And two dads are more than capable of providing that.
1. Gay parents aren’t bound to gender specific roles
Which makes us share in every responsibility.
Equally sharing in every task removes asymmetry from the relationship and evoked equally responsibility (and opportunity) for both parents.
When there are no restrictions on who does what, your child grows up to believe that they are capable of anything – and isn’t that a beautiful thing?
2. Gay parents choose to be parents
Which makes us motivated.
Let’s face it, Gays and lesbians rarely become parents by accident. Having a family is a big decision that can take years of discussion and savings – it isn’t taken lightly.
So, when the decision is made to start a family, it’s often followed up with 100% commitment.
3. Love is love
Gender is irrelevant – all you need is love.
“Two good parents are better than one good parent, but one good parent is better than two bad parents. And gender seems to make no difference.”
No, our daughter doesn’t have a mom.
No, our daughter doesn’t need a mom.
Our daughter will grow up with two loving dads.
She will be surrounded by positive female role models.
She will be enveloped by so much love that it will be overflowing.
I wish every child was this fortunate.
Question: do you think traditional family structures are superior to alternative structures?
Yes or no?
If you do, I’d be curios to hear your opinion and reasoning.
Here are some excellent resources if you are interested in reading more on this topic,
- Gay Parenting – https://www.livescience.com/17913-advantages-gay-parents.html
- Gay Dad Truths – https://www.austinplease.com/gaydadtruths/