11 Best Tips on How to Be a Surrogate (2024)

Austin Please
Updated on
December 20, 2023

Did you know that one in ten women have considered being a surrogate? There are many misconceptions about what it means to be a surrogate. Contrary to popular belief, surrogacy is not just for the wealthy.

The truth is there are several reasons why someone might want to sign a surrogacy contract - from financial constraints to wanting to give an infertile couple a child. In this blog post, we'll outline 11 best tips on how you can get started with how to be a surrogate mother!

What Are The Perfect Tips on How to Become a Surrogate?

As a surrogate mother, you are the one who carries the baby in your womb for other couples who are unable to have children of their own. Surrogacy journey is precarious because fertility treatments often carry risks too.

So, before you apply for the surrogacy process, there are certain things that you should know.

1. Understand How the Process Works

If you consider being a surrogate, it is best to educate yourself about the surrogacy contract. First, you'll want to make sure that you meet the qualifications.

There are essential criteria that potential surrogates must meet to become certified by a surrogacy agency or matching services. Some of these basic requirements include being at least 21 years old, having given birth to a child before, and having no history of infertility.


  1. It lets you know which part or procedure of the surrogacy process you require assistance with.
  2. It enables you to know what issues you may face if you choose surrogacy as an option.
  3. Knowing about these issues helps one plan ahead and seek the necessary advice, such as legal advice from a surrogacy specialist.
  4. It also enables the intended parents to communicate effectively with the surrogate and ensure her rights and expectations.
  5. It's essential to understand the surrogacy process because it allows you to know your rights.

2. Surrogacy is NOT for Everyone

 Many people think that becoming a surrogate is as easy as signing up at a surrogacy agency and getting pregnant with the baby in question. It isn't true because it's not only about the pregnancy; you have to consider the risks of childbirth and your child's future.

 Your life during and after pregnancy can also be difficult, which is why some people may not make good surrogates at all.


There are some critical questions you should ask yourself about your motivation for being a surrogate. 

  1. Is this an attempt to have a baby? Human beings have an instinctual drive to reproduce. If you are in this because of pressure, it may be wise to reevaluate your motives.
  2. Do you have an implantable fertility treatment available to you? If so, you may not need a surrogate at all.
  3. Are you ready to let go of the attachment? After you give birth the intended parent will have more control over the child you have given birth to.
  4. Are you psychologically prepared to go through the complicated medical tests? Surrogacy involves countless procedures. 
  5. Are you ready to go through a rollercoaster of emotions? Generally, pregnancy is stressful.

If the answers to any of these questions are "yes," it's probably wise to pursue the surrogacy process.

3. Know the  Risks on How to Be a Surrogate

Making a decision to be a surrogate is a life-time commitment. There are essential things that you must consider before you decide to travel this route. There are several risks involved when you decide to be a surrogate. 

Complications during pregnancy may occur. You may end up needing a c-section, experiencing preterm labor, other complications which could cause you harm, and possible problems with the surrogate baby's future health.


  1. There may be legalities surrounding a surrogacy contract, gestational surrogate, and health risks.
  2. Includes lots of paperwork that must be completed thoroughly to avoid problems.
  3. Surrogacy can take months or years before a baby is born.
  4. The surrogate and the egg donor are required to have psychological screenings before starting.
  5. Surrogacy can be risky for women's health.

 You can't deny that it's hard to give up your biological child, even though carrying someone else's baby is dangerous on its own. All of these things are important to know before you apply to become a surrogate.

4. Understand Surrogate Application Process

The application process is pretty simple, but the most important step is finding surrogacy agencies that can help you. If you know somebody who has applied to become a surrogate before, then they are the best ones to tell you how it works because they have done it!

You should make sure to find one with good reviews, proven success, and quality references.


For surrogates to understand the process, they should be aware of all the steps, from beginning to end. These include:

  1. The screening process.
  2. Fertility treatments and requirements.
  3. The legal agreement between surrogacy agencies and couple/single people.
  4. Informed consent.
  5. The delivery and its aftercare.

 Signed legal documents are vital because they help protect your privacy, rights, and financial status. Ensure that they aren't full of loopholes that could leave you in a vulnerable position.

5. Surrogate Training and Support

Surrogacy training helps you to prepare for the possible problems which could occur during your surrogate pregnancy. You can also get advice from a  surrogacy specialist, take parenting courses, speak with other gestational surrogates to gain knowledge in this field, and have emotional support from many intended parents.

It's necessary because it will help you prevent problems related to taking fertility drugs


  1. Training is essential for a gestational carrier because they will do everything that a biological mother does.
  2. It helps a surrogate mother to know what her rights are when she goes into an agency.
  3. Surrogates need to know about mental health issues.
  4. It helps the surrogates to be prepared to give the baby up after a certain amount of time.
  5. A support system is essential because surrogates need to talk about personal emotions.

The best thing about surrogate training and support is that you'll have a network of people who understand a positive surrogacy experience and can help you!

6. Don't Let Money Decide your Future on How to Be a  Surrogate Mother

You can still do it for free or reduce your payment for more altruistic reasons, such as helping someone unable to conceive naturally. 

If you feel like your surrogacy agency isn't helping you enough, then seek out assistance elsewhere. You can find some vital information on some of our pages here at the surrogacy blog.


  1. Money would make it impossible for both the gestational carriers and the intended parents to have peace of mind.
  2. You might sacrifice your health to get an embryo implanted in you.
  3. You may even take fertility drugs which can potentially harm your ovaries.
  4. Because of money, you might rush into surrogacy at a young age without thinking about what is involved with it.
  5. Pregnancy may affect your body physique. You may add too much weight or develop stretch marks.

If money is one of the primary reasons for choosing surrogacy, then you have to rethink to avoid regretting in future.

7. Consider your well being and health first

Surrogacy can put a lot of physical and mental pressure on the surrogate, which is why surrogates need to take care of their mental health. You can't help a family if you're not physically or emotionally healthy enough to do so.

 Be sure that you're open to whatever feelings and emotions may come up during the process of how to be a surrogate.


  1. The gestational carrier ought to be healthy both psychologically and physically if you are carrying an unborn child.
  2. You have to be 100% sure that your body can handle being pregnant. Can you deal with morning sickness during the first few months of pregnancy?
  3. Consider how you would cope with the delivery. What if something goes wrong?
  4. It would help if you also considered whether or not this is right for you. Being a gestational carrier is a commitment.
  5. Ensure that you are ready to deal with the criticism of others.

Surrogacy is a huge commitment from the surrogate and the childless parents who are desperate to have their own family.

8. Be sure you have a support system

Surrogacy is an emotional roller coaster for everyone involved, and many people will have conflicting feelings throughout this experience. Be sure to have a strong family built up that can weather all the storms with you. Surrogacy won't work if everyone isn't on the same page.

Surrogacy is a fantastic thing, but it does come with some risks associated with it. Be sure that you're aware of these dangers before taking on this role as a gestational carrier.


1. To commiserate on tough days: Surrogacy can be a very long struggle with multiple rounds of IVF, ultrasounds, blood tests, and other physical crises.

2. To share the joy on successful days: The feeling of surrogacy is indescribable.

3. To celebrate success: No matter how many rounds of IVF it takes, surrogacy is highly rewarding.

4. To grieve on tough days: Surrogacy is emotional, and you will have a lot of firsts to deal with.

5. To brainstorm on tough days: The surrogacy journey is complex, and you will certainly need to tackle some challenging moments.

Sometimes, your friends and family might not understand that surrogacy isn't easy. They may also pressure you into doing something you don't want to do, like giving up the baby after birth.

9. Prepare your Body for Pregnancy Before Signing up

If you're thinking of becoming a surrogate, here's a small checklist to see. If you have a mental illness, extreme obesity, or addiction to illegal substances, perhaps being a surrogate is not for you.

 It may help to consult with your physician to give you a thorough screening and, if need be, help get you started on the right dietary course to ensure your body is ready for pregnancy.


  1. If you feel great about yourself, the more likely you're ready to help people grow their families.
  2. Surrogates prepare for pregnancies by starting an exercise routine (such as yoga or biking) to keep fit
  3. Get a medical checkup before you can sign on with a surrogacy agency to ensure your body is healthy to carry another person's baby.
  4. Your doctor will also give you tips for proper nutrition (such as taking prenatal vitamins), to optimize conception.
  5. Exercise to realize your optimal weight.

It is essential to talk with your physician about which foods and supplements they recommend to prepare your body for pregnancy.

10. Learn What's Involved in the Screening Process of How to be a surrogate

The Initial step to becoming a surrogate mother is bypassing the selection process, including extensive medical screening. It determines whether or not you are fit for being a surrogate mother and if your pregnancy will be safe. If there are any concerns about your physical health, you will go for a complete medical screening.


  1. It helps to know which surrogate mother agency will provide them with the highest practical level of support.
  2. It helps to realize all the requirements related to becoming a surrogate mother and how it is different from being an egg donor.
  3. It helps to understand the fact that no babies can be conceived without a healthy gamete.
  4. Enables checking the fertility of donors and recipients as well as surrogate mothers.
  5. Assessing the physical, emotional, mental, and financial capabilities of intended parents-to-be.

Screening involves a lot more than interviewing intended parents and surrogate candidates.

11. Legal Requirement

Surrogacy is not legal in every state – and even if it's, that does not mean all the pertinent laws apply to you. Even within states where surrogacy is legal and regulated, state and federal laws may apply differently to you as a surrogate mother.


  1. It makes the process safer for both the baby and the surrogate mother.
  2. It protects your rights as a mother by establishing your intentions clearly in writing.
  3. The intended parents can guarantee you certain payments, expenses, and protections so that they do not interfere with your life while you are pregnant.
  4. Having an attorney help draft an agreement between the surrogate mother and intended parents ensures that both parties are protected.
  5. It establishes clear guidelines for what will happen with the baby before, during, and after pregnancy.

Every intended parent should consult their attorney to determine what those regulations are in your area, which laws apply, and how they can protect themselves.

What is a Surrogate?

A surrogate is a woman who carries and delivers another couple's baby. The surrogate mother receives an agreed-upon fee for her services to cover out-of-pocket expenses associated with the pregnancy and compensation for time off from work during the pregnancy.

Surrogates can be any gender, intended parents, same-sex couples (gay), or heterosexual couples.

There are 3 main types of surrogacy:

  1. Traditional surrogacy involves the surrogate using her eggs fertilized with the intended father's sperm.
  2. Gestational surrogacy is when an embryo created through IVF using either donor sperm or donor egg is transferred into the surrogate.
  3. Partial surrogacy is when the intended mother contributes to the egg and sperm.

How much does a surrogate get paid?

A surrogate can make over $100,000 for a successful surrogacy arrangement. There is also an alternative to purchasing health insurance for the term of pregnancy, allowing the intended parent to maintain coverage after giving birth and before beginning any surrogacy compensation.

How can you be a great surrogate?

 The best surrogate is an actual friend to the family. Surrogacy works because it's a very personal experience. You are carrying someone else's baby for them, but you need to be comfortable with them for this relationship to work. You have to get along! If not, everything will be ten times harder.


It’s not easy to be a surrogate mother. But if you put in the rest of your time and effort, it can lead to a fantastic experience for both you and the family who need your help. Follow these tips on how to be a surrogate and get started today!

Last Updated on
December 20, 2023
Austin Please

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Austin Please
I’m a gay dad, a happy husband, and recently my own boss. But it isn’t all sunshine and rainbows, i’m still striving to grow a mustache to achieve ultimate dadness.
Austin Please
I’m a gay dad, a happy husband, and recently my own boss. But it isn’t all sunshine and rainbows, i’m still striving to grow a mustache to achieve ultimate dadness.
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